So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
