and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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