dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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