shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
