everyone is single if you try hard enough
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
