Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Randomize
