she looked like the before picture.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Randomize
