It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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