I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
