I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
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