Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
