I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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