i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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