Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
