maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
