i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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