Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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