You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
