doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
