Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
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