You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
