Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
