she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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