Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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