The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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