how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Randomize
