i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
