Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
