Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
