my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
