I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
