after a month anything with tits is on the radar
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
