I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
