why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
