So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize
