i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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