So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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