I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
Randomize
