would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
