I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
