how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
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