Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
