Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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