i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
