kristin has been a bad kristin
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
