she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Randomize