i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
