i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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