Sry I called you an 8
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
