After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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