did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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