i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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