AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
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