need another drink. this is the easiest way
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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