I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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