Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
We had to coat check the pizza.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
