you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
