The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
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