I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
