i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Farmville is her only friend.
nutella sex= disaster
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
