I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
